Sunday, July 19, 2015

T W E N T Y - F I V E

I remember vivid moments of my childhood, imagining myself all grownup. I would be beautiful and happy and responsible. My smile would dazzle the world and I would be comfortable and confident in my own skin. I’d take bubble baths and dance in my kitchen. I would wake up to the smell of coffee every morning and read my Bible with my husband.  

… I've been twenty-five years old for 20 days and I am not that woman.

I’m not sure I’d even call myself a grownup. Responsibility is not as glamorous as I made it out be in my 8 year old head. I've danced in my kitchen, I’m sure at some point in my life but it was more accurately my parent’s kitchen - not yet my own. I read my Bible but not as often as I should and I’ve never read it with my husband.

Instead I have a crazy laugh I love and a crooked smile I’m embarrassed about. I’m still growing up and I hear it’s never good to accomplish that fully. I love where I am right now because no one else will ever think my thoughts the same way and no one will ever see the world the way I see it and I’m honored to be allowed to live this life.

Today I am grateful for The Lord’s grace. Tomorrow I will try to be grateful again. I won’t give up on becoming more like Him and I will do my best to create a life He is proud of. A life I am proud of.

My life - I live for Him -  I’m aware it doesn't always appear that way - please do not assume I don’t know that I fail in almost every way - it breaks my heart -  but I won’t let it keep me down. I trust Jesus with this heart of mine and I am confident in His ability to heal.

Some days I don’t know if I’m happy but I know I could be a lot sadder

Though my life is different than I imagined it would be - I’m content today, in this hour and that I think is the goal. To enjoy where you are because in a few moments you won’t ever be here again. Never can you re-live a moment. Never can you go back. Never can you choose the past over the present. And that is beautiful and unique and terrifying all at once.


  1. You. Are. Beautiful. And this post is gorgeous, uplifting, and encouraging! I am so proud of you and the precious woman you are this very day. :) Keep smiling, my friend, and keep writing!

  2. Thank you sweet friend! I appreciate you constant encouragement. 😊